ORIGINAL AIRDATE: 10.24.17
Barry finds out that he created a bus full of metas with his exit from the Speed Force. And one of them has Luck powers.
Bad Hair Day, for like, years
The Thinker is tracking the second accidental meta. So basically we get a window into the life of a lovable loser girl. And somebody should’ve told them it would be impossible to take her seriously with that cartoon voice. But her luck is so bad, she already has negative luck powers. And right off the bat, this episode is basically already just a live action cartoon. Also The Thinker mentioned MySpace. Yeah that was over before 2014 but okay.
Team Laser Tag
SnowBarrisco is playing laser tag. I want you to notice that Iris doesn’t seem to be included in the fun. Back at Flash Labs, Harry’s coming through the portal. With a Breakup Cube for Wally from Jesse. And Harry seems to indicate that Jesse lost her virginity to Wally. Um. That was, without a doubt, one of the most cringe inducing things I’ve ever seen on TV. Harry and Jesse I swear have the weirdest and creepiest father/daughter relationship in all superherodom. And that’s really something if you consider Ultimate Pietro and Wanda. So now Wally’s bummed, but no time for that because the TroubAlert.
Sinatra Can’t Fix This
So Becky Hazard shows up in a hot red dress and robs a bank. Because she can throw what was previously her ridiculously bad luck onto others now. Which includes the Fastest Man Alive (which he no longer calls himself in the opening) slipping on some marbles. Marbles. Because somehow he wouldn’t be fast enough to avoid them. They’d have to be moving at super speed to get underneath his feet like that but whatever.
Okay nobody seems to understand balance any more in life. Last year, Season 3 was way too dark. Now they’re trying too hard in the other direction. The Flash isn’t supposed to be a superhero parody show. The Flash is becoming its own Orville.
We already see that the best thing about this episode is gonna be Harry. And it is. At least Cisco left some tech in the suit which is what we were hoping for. And once again….*sigh* we take a detour into scenes we don’t need. I like Joe’s girlfriend, but we don’t watch this show to get Empty Nesters:The Adventures of Joe & Cecile. And next up? Barry sees Iris in her wedding dress. And their venues are all becoming unavailable. Notice that the episode makes it unclear just how much of this is happening because of Hazard and how much is just happening.
Becky continues her Scarlet Witch hexing of everything around her, much to The Thinker’s delight. Harry is with Cisco and doing his best Cruise from Rain Man, and they figure out the truth of things: Barry created a bus fell of metas with the Dark Matter trail that followed him out of the Speed Force. That’s another staple of every CW show (except Supergirl): everything is always the hero’s fault.
Is it Soup yet?
If I’m writing like I’m bored, it’s because I am. To tears. This episode is so ridiculous I can’t believe I’m still watching it. More Cecile troubles at the house and just whatever. So Care Bear, who is not Becky’s type at all, has a heart-to-heart with her at Jitters. And you know what happens? Becky starts causing some serious danger around her. Know what Barry does? He sits down. I’m not kidding. She toodles out the back and is gone. Again, Barry’s seeing in Flash Time and real time simultaneously which is something the show needs to be clearer about.
The Jinx is gone. No I’m sorry that’s the Thrill
Team Flash is talking. Again. Just talking. And then? Iris calls Barry to a church with a funeral in progress and decides to get married on the spot. Ummm…that’s kind of selfish, oblivious and in bad taste. Also, you can’t get married without a license. Any ordained minister would know that, because he has to sign it. I must admit, Iris turning the picture of the dead man around and then crossing herself had me cracking up. That was actually pretty funny, until I realized that Iris is, again, singing the Me, Me, Me song. The only tune she knows. Also that dead dude kind of looked like Rush Limbaugh. Anyway, Hazard’s powers are now like a Beyonce single, they’re everywhere, so Father Poltergeist gets a cinnamon incense attack from a smarmy altar boy. No seriously, I couldn’t make that up if I was sugar shocked on Captain Crunch. Iris tells Padre to walk it off. Walk it off, Father, walk it off.
That was Golden
Harry and Cisco are the Two Stooges again, and it’s awesome. Somehow Jesse kicks her own father off of Team Quicksters, and…he can’t go back to Earth 2? That was super stupid. She kicks him off a whole planet and he can’t find another place to live. Okay. So Becky Hazard’s field is expanding because she’s winning at the casino. And catastrophes are piling up everywhere. They wasted a good plane rescue opportunity, I was curious as to how Barry was going to save it. But he didn’t.
The biggest news here is that the Particle Accelerator gets turned back on, and Harry says to let ‘er rip. So there’s another wave released, but I guarantee you that’s a setup for more shenanigans. Maybe Cisco loses his powers. Maybe Caitlin loses hers. Maybe Iris gets powers. Something is gonna come of that little detail, mark my words. So the immediate effect is that it depowers Hazard. Good thing because Flash ended up cuffing himself on the way to arrest her. Which is stupid. Iris is still somehow team coordinator and has learned to be Felicity in six months. This episode would’ve been better if Hazard was more of a Scarlet Witch type character. And oh yeah, Wally is missing. Like that even matters. Cherry pop, cherry pop, pop cherry, cherry pop.
“There’s no fire!” Yes there is Barry, it’s me burning my DVR to get this episode off of it.
All is not Wells
You know what this episode does next? It completely changes tone. It was so abrupt and takes such a sharp turn from the rest of the episode until it was jarring.
Harry is staying. We saw that one coming a mile away, but I still say hurray. He’s a welcome addition, he should’ve never left. He and Cisco do their father and son bonding thing again and it’s funny and heart warming. Tonal shift-a-mundo.
Wally leaves. He actually leaves. That’s what needed to happen, but it was still really sad. But the show had one too many speedsters. Wally’s off to Blue Valley, right decision. But still. a super heavy moment after 50 minutes of cartoon villainy. Also. I guess he’s decided to finish his Jedi training on his own. No one mentions that.
The Thinker is spying on Team Flash! That Samurai head is a video feed. Holy cow that is creepy times ten.
And the final bomb? Cecile is pregnant. That’s right. With child. Knocked up. Joe is stunned into speechlessness. As are we. Because how is this relevant to Barry’s storyline? Oh well.
Next week we meet Ralph Dibny. The Elongated Man himself. He’s another one of those characters that’s just so goofy you have to laugh when he’s around. That means he’s like a Human Twizzler. Both literally and figuratively.
If I’m going to be honest, and I am, The Gifted is now my favorite superhero show. I’m as surprised by that as anyone. I didn’t think they’d be able to pull off X-Men on TV, and I didn’t think Fox could have a superhero hit (I don’t count Gotham). But I get that boyish anticipation, and the excitement to see the next episode every week from The Gifted now. Not from The Flash.