ORIGINAL AIRDATE: 10.17.17
A non-PA meta wants credit for the software he invented. And Barry & Iris, the “Gold Standard” of relationships(🤣) need counseling. And Wally is useless. Again.
Give me some tone: Light
So Danielle Panabaker herself said on Twitter that tonight’s show would be lighter in tone. But going super dark last season wasn’t really their biggest problem. It was losing a credible storyline for Barry’s development as a hero. That’s what made the show great. We tuned in because of Barry’s drive to catch his mother’s killer, and the love of his three dads to support him. So making the show more goofy doesn’t actually recapture that. But whatever.
Did you notice they no longer do the “My name is Barry Allen, and I am thee fastest man alive” intro? They just do “Previously on The Flash” now and then the logo.
Yeah starting the show with a billionaire being bludgeoned to death by a shaking elevator doesn’t qualify as “light” y’all! That was mondo scare-rific. And gory too.
I pretty much knew I was done with this ep when Barry did the Risky Business slide in. That’s the first big sign that they don’t get what we as the audience want. We don’t need to see Barry being more of a goofball. What we actually wanted to see was his development as a hero. Don’t misunderstand me, fun is good, but answers is what this show needed more of. Why is he faster from being in the Speed Force? Does he have any new speed powers? Were there any residual effects on him, besides his Beautiful Mind state which he got over instantly? But nope. And just for the record, just because Barry can move at super speed doesn’t mean that food would cook at super speed. Yeah I’m detailed like that. Game of Thrones wink at super speed. And Iris isn’t happy. I can understand why, it’s just that if you think about it, Iris is never happy. And as anyone knows, when you’re never happy, people stop caring. Yeah I’m there with Virus.
Cisco does his thing and they’re on track to sniffing out Kilg%re.
The suit, she is new
Cisco has whipped up what turns out to be Iron Man level improvements for Barry’s new suit. I don’t know if they intended to or not, but putting Cisco at this level of tech development puts him in Tony Stark’s class. Now we already saw in the Flashpoint world that he does indeed have that capability. I’m just wondering why he doesn’t see it himself in this timeline. I know he’d never leave his friends, but Cisco is officially better than the level of life he’s currently living on. Just the money he could get from the patents alone is staggering.
Iris still thinks she’s the boss and is still unimaginably bossy. So Caitlin suggests couples therapy for her and Care Bear. The interchange between Iris and Caitlin is so unbelievably awkward until it needs its own YouTube channel. Have they ever had anything more than a cursory working relationship? Now Caitlin suddenly gets personal, as if they’ve been friends all this time. Remember that just last week Iris snapped on her for being missing for the past six months. Are they “girlfriends” now? Yeah no, they’re not. I hope this isn’t a trend. The only thing they have in common is Barry. Caitlin is super educated and had a career until the particle accelerator exploded, and has saved everyone on the show multiple times with her medical expertise. Iris? She blogged about the Flash, never does any journalism, and has no medical, technical, or law enforcement training. Yeah they’re not peers. By a long shot.
It’s the TroubAlert! And we get just a tease of the only story we want to follow: Killer Frost vs. Caitlin. Who’s in control? What makes her change? It looks like now, she’s clearly in Bruce Banner territory. The stress of danger will make her frost out unless she clamps down on it. Okay, we can go with that…I just hope they’re consistent with that frame now that they’ve clearly established it in the last two eps.
False alarm! Hey no worries it’s just Cisco’s girlfriend popping over for a date. Is that alarm system new? And do they lock the front door now? So Gypsco does their flirty-gurty and we’ll see later that they have the only real relationship on this show.
Kilg%re me Now
So our villain of the week shows up again and sets up another victim. Iris, who is now apparently Felicity, tells Barry what to do in the rescue. And he disobeys! Shock and horror we can’t have that. So he basically disassembles the car at super speed. Now I have to admit, that was a very Flash thing to do. And fun to watch, so I’ll give them credit for Barry acting more Flash-like here. But Iris’ commands have been violated, so….yeah. Issues are a-brewin’. 🙄
“Autotopsy.” That was an awesome Cisco word.
Caitlin aGAIN makes the connection and figures out that this computer virus is behaving like an organic one, and demonstrates why Team Flash needs her. Constantly. Did you notice that Wally just stood there the whole time and didn’t say anything? This set up was perfect for him to be involved, because there was a car engine present. That’s his thing, remember? I sure do. But nope. He’s written as useless. So he busts on Cisco about his high school magazine collection and that’s his only contribution to that whole scene.
Aaaaaand you are
Iris is mad. AGAIN. And now she wants to go to couples therapy, because Barry is doing exactly what the Flash would do: think and make decisions at high speed. What a surprise. Best wink of the show? Barry reading the headline that Oliver has been outed as the Green Arrow. And then we get this stupid therapy scene. I’m not going to dignify that unspeakable waste of screen time other than to say, trying too hard again. Manufactured drama, no chemistry with this couple, and making all the funerals they’ve attended a humorous anecdote. Note to Barry: you and Iris have NEVER been in sync.
They find Kilg%re and the team that stole his tech. Notice that they’re all the pretty people and he’s the swarthiest, but okay. No stereotypes there!🤣 He’s at the precinct with Joe! Tim Kwan is there! He’s activating police bots! And again here….I have to give them some props. Barry saves them from a live grenade explosion by picking the exploding shrapnel out of the air! That was again, such a Flash thing to do, and it was awesome. But it also means that bullets and normal punches should never be a problem for him to avoid. I hope they’re consistent with this level of speed for the rest of the season. But the breath? I am not holding it.
Show me the Meta
Iris is insufferable. I’m sorry, it’s just so true. She’s still bossy, rude, and snappy with “her” team. If you notice, this is a CW pattern with leading love interests. Laurel, Lana, Felicity, Iris. Somehow they’re supposed to be one thing, yet they become so unlikable we catch hives when they’re on the screen. And who’s infinitely better? The somehow second lady. Caitlin, Chloe, Sarah. Even Patty Spivot was more fun to watch and be around than Iris.
This show should learn from Black Siren. They should turn Iris evil (like she isn’t already, hel-LO 🙄), or kill this E1 version and bring a villainous counterpart from another Earth. Put Barry with Caitlin where he belongs, and have them become a crime fighting team. Evil Iris would know all of their secrets and could strike with the same viciousness that E2 Laurel does. My greatest enemy with my lover’s face. Can you imagine how much better the show would be if they took that route?
Yep but won’t happen. *sigh*
The two biggest brains on the show, the true double beating heart of this show, Cisco and Caitlin again solve the problems. Barry and Iris aren’t even in the room. But again Caitlin plays Advice Queen. This time it’s to Cisco about Gypsy.
Blah blah blah more therapy with the “We’re back! That was quick. Even for me” line. Biggest running Flash joke ever. Blah blah blah Iris says that Barry’s not allowed to change any plans without consulting her. Her language here was so condescending I almost turned off the TV. Then she reveals she’s hurt because he left her. And no Barry, you are NOT the gold standard of superhero relationships. As I said on Twitter, this show is confusing the actual Barry and Iris from the comics with this couple. There’s no comparison. And for the record, the gold standard of comics couple has always been Lois and Clark. The end.
Go West young man
Joe and Wally are doing a stakeout. They are also making a clear effort to show Keiynan as Wally as more gender fluid. The tech woman Sheila they’re protecting is such a smart aleck until, ugh. Deacon shows up and it’s more ugliness on our plate tonight folks! Deacon has power and sends Sheila into insulin shock. Yikes that’s no joke. Wally injects her with glucose and I was like…what if that didn’t work? What if the medical emergency wasn’t over? I dunno, I just felt like speeding her to a hospital was a better alternative, but at least Wally got to do something for two seconds.
The West-Allen Allen-Wests get back. Cisco’s in the doghouse. And Joe just said “we gotta move fast.” So again the show takes a side trip for this stupid relationship stuff. WE. DON’T. NEED. TO. SEE. THIS. But okay whatever. And all of a sudden Cisco can INSTANT-VIBE GYPSY IN. Caitlin feels her third wheel turning and leaves. Tender moments with Gypsco because 1-1-1- day and HOLY COW ARE WE IN JUNIOR HIGH OR WHAT??? But of course 111 is the answer and Gypsy says he’s a dead man. Hahahha best line of the night.
Me? Me, Me Me
Iris again makes it all about her. Barry tries to elevate her worldview into understanding what it means to be a hero. And Iris utters the stupidest line I’ve ever heard:
“YOU are not the Flash, Barry. WE are.”
Nope. Wrong. If you know how Barry died in the comics, it was all him. His sacrifice. Not him and Iris.
Anyway, this whole relationship becomes more and more forced every week. Time to get the villain.
Barry and Wally rush to the warehouse where Deacon is killing Tim and I immediately forgot that Wally was even there. Then we go into a Silver Age level laugh fest at Barry’s suit malfunctioning. Deacon overrides its systems, and we see how much Cisco stuffed it with. That could’ve been a stunning show moment that showcased Barry’s new abilities and Cisco’s apparently unlimited genius. But nope, it’s played for laughs. Okay then. Barry actually has some Iron Man type repulsors in that suit. Whaaaaat? I thought that was out of place for the Flash but still so awesome. But they’ll be leaving.
So Deacon wreaks havoc with the suit, and somehow there’s nothing Cisco can do. Which if you think about it makes precisely zero sense. So Barry (on a pay phone no less) calls Iris. Iris. The non-scientist, non-tech, non-bomb squad trained “leader” of Team Crash suggests that he lightning strike himself. Barry pledges his obedience like a dog to whatever Iris tells him to do. And somehow trusting Iris and a pep talk trumps physics and the lightning strike seems to work. They might as well have sub-captioned “Iris is always right” on the screen.
Also. There’s absolutely no way, with this level of tech genius, that Cisco doesn’t have multiple fail-safes. Just no way. Barry stops the bullet Quicksilver style, injects Deacon with the 111 virus and it’s over. And there’s a quick shot to remind us that useless Wally, who didn’t even have one line in the whole scene, was there. On the floor. As usual.
The Boss of the Elves
Gypsco acts like a normal couple and I am stunned at what real chemistry looks like on this show. So normal, so easy, such a smooth flow. Too bad Barry and Iris will never have it. Notice they are just ignoring the incest angle nowadays.
Deacon reveals that he’s not a meta because of the particle accelerator explosion. And we as the audience get to see that the Thinker has created twelve metas. I want that piano he was playing.
Oh and Early from Firefly shows up!
So basically I’m thinking that the pattern of the season has been set. Lots of eye-rolling cornball humor, more of Iris the Insufferable, ice adventures with Caitlin & Hyde (the only interesting plot), manufactured BaVirus drama, and tracking the Thinker’s eleven remaining metas. Well okay then.
Don’t know what else to say other than I wish I was writing this show.