ORIGINAL AIRDATE: 4.10.18
Team Flash finds the second-to-last bus meta, Null. Barry is clowned. Gypsy’s father, Breacher, is having some powers issues, and he needs Cisco and Caitlin to fix him. And Ralph? He’s not just making a joke of it all, he is the joke of it all.
A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste
This episode starts out being all about brain powers. Harry’s still trying to artificially boost his with his “thinking cap” (*cough* TICKING TIME BOMB). Breacher believes Gypsy when she says that Cisco is a master of “meta science,” so Cisco can fix Breacher’s frimmistatzing powers. Still no propers for Caitlin in there.
And the Thinker and the Mechanic are trying to figure out a way for Clifford’s host bodies not to burn up so fast. I still call crap on that last one. No way you can present a character whose premise is having THE POWER TO CALCULATE ALL POSSIBLE OUTCOMES, and they didn’t have anything ready or in place to deal with:
- Marlize maybe not being attracted to whatever host body he’s in this week
- The accumulation of all those dark matter powers being too much for one body
- The clear possibility that Marlize could change her mind on these plans
Kinda completely blows holes in the idea of this villain’s aspirations for greatness.
Meanwhile Jay and Silent Bob (written in obviously by guest director Kevin Smith) are trying to move a crate that’s too heavy for them. They also have mismatching security jackets. Then Discount Rihanna AKA Null (gender and race bent, natch)
shows up, negates the weight of the crate, smashes it open to find…..a crown? What was in that crate making it so heavy then?
Read Comics about The Flash
My name is Buddy Cop show
Joe says that crate weighed 200 pounds. They still could’ve moved that. Ralph then causes J & SB to break a priceless artifact. I think we were supposed to be laughing there. I wasn’t.
I was however completely busting up at Breacher throwing a knife at plastic target Cisco. 🤣hahahAHAHHAAH Also. Nacho donuts? Really? ……Urgh.🤢 So as usual, if they want some heavy comedic lifting done on this show, they need to give it to Cisco. But then things get kinda heavy when Caitlin tells Cisco that Breacher’s losing his powers because he’s getting older. Yikes. Both a poignant and analogous-to-life topic.
Then, what we KNEW was going to happen, happens. Marlize finds out that Devoe’s been drugging her with the magic mind tears. I just don’t understand the lack of outrage over this plot point. I really don’t. It also completely ruins what started out as one of the more passionate and believable pairings on this show, which I thought was a strength of the Devoe character. But oh well. He’s a 12th level monster now, no going back.
Five is a Crowd
I realized, as so many of us fans have, what’s so wrong with this show. It’s just too crowded. Joe, Iris, Ralph, Harry….and then putting Cisco and Caitlin on the side. And no real character development for Barry. He’s been rather stagnant since he got back out of the SpeedForce. That feels more like a silver age cartoon than the hero we want to see grow. Also, is it just me, or does Harry’s thinking cap make no sense in terms of how it functions?
I’m not even gonna deal with this whole stupid Ralph-as-Joe and Barry interlude to interrogate Mr. Scottish Useless.
And the Slowest Man Alive STANDS STILL while Dorothy from The Wiz negate weights him. *sigh*🙄 But it wouldn’t be The Flash if Barry wasn’t getting clowned.
Filled with Something alright
…..Ummm…..how did they get Barry back to S.T.A.R. Labs? Did Cisco vibe him there? Why doesn’t Cisco (WHO CAN MAKE GOLD GUNS REMEMBER) just whip up a pair of gravity boots? Or why doesn’t supercap Harry do so? Ooohhhhh no, nothing like that is going to happen. Barry has to be made to look like a human piñata and in case you wondered who his owner is, Iris ties a rope to his ankle to stop him from…floating away? Yeah um if I didn’t have to finish this review I would’ve turned the episode off right there.
I’ve realized what Ralph and Barry are avatars for now: they’re the audience yelling at the screen and the show ignoring it all.
At least Marlize gets the rage snarl when she finds out she’s being roofied.
Caitlin takes a mystery blue pill, turns out to be an antihistamine. So Cisco tries to sell Breacher on it, because he refuses to tell him the truth. Then he vibes from behind him to fool him, and how does Breacher not know that the blast didn’t come from his own hands? Couldn’t he feel that?
Iris and Barry have a talk. Sure. Harry says Null can’t gravitate what she can’t see, and that Barry has to vibrate out of her eyeline. Um, no he doesn’t, if he runs fast enough she can’t track him anyway. She’s not a speedster. Remember Superman tracking Flash in Justice League? Super speed required.
NULL IS MAKING HER “GETAWAY” IN BROAD DAYLIGHT but okay. Barry does an incredible save, always love his Flying Flash leaps, but Null gets away.
Excuse me. Flash has already proven this season that HE’S FAST ENOUGH TO RUN TO CHINA IN SECONDS. So Barry could’ve dropped Null off at S.T.A.R. Labs and then gone back to save Falling Car Man. Also, Null sent him up there in case she got caught? That was her backup? So she would’ve killed him if Barry hadn’t shown up.
Also. Why does Barry cuff the villains and then talk to them? That is always a mistake, and he keeps doing it. Lock them up first, then talk. Grrgh. Whatever.
He’s Gonna Die. We’re all Gonna Die.
Harry says, “It’s been almost a year. And where are we?” That’s the truest thing that’s been said today.
And Iris has the nerve to say this line: “Are you upset with Ralph because he’s screwing around, or because he’s not following your plan?”
Do I even need to explain the sheer hypocrisy in that statement? The audacity it takes for her of all people to say that?
And also, Cisco and Caitlin with Breacher’s story is a totally unrelated B plot. Like, what is even the point. They’re sidelined. They should be front and center, Original Team Flash. I miss them greatly.
We find out that the Devoes have been doing this dance for a while. And every time, Devoe alters Marlize’s brain to get her back in line. In fact, Dominic and the Weeper were invented just to have the powers to keep Marlize under Clifford’s mind control. That’s even uglier than before. So I guess we’re supposed to believe that this was always Devoe’s plan, to control Marlize? Then doesn’t that mean that the couple they were, the loved they shared, was fake? Or when Devoe got his powers, this is what he envisioned? You can’t have all those be true.
Ralph and Barry, heart to heart, whatever. This is like three separate stories happening in the same episode.
Anything that Shines
Null operates without a mask and out in the open. Somehow Barry is fast enough to get ahead of her null blast against the people, but can’t stop her. Makes no sense. Also, Barry falling out of they sky, he could super wave his arms and legs and create a wind cushion to slow his descent. But whatever, this is a buddy cop show, so Ralph has to be made relevant by saving Barry. Also. Farting to deflate. I really wasn’t laughing.
And as always, it has to be shown that Barry is the one that’s wrong and has to change. *sigh*
Yeah that whole “annoyed” thing that’s in the title? That’s not just Barry. That would be us.
Breacher comes back in Old Man Retirement clothes. He finally looked in the mirror and realized he’s too old to be a superhero. But he offers Cisco his old job, and a chance to be with Gypsy on the regular. Now that’s a real choice in the making.
Harry takes his cap into Thawne’s vault. He reactivates Gideon. Don’t tell me that we all weren’t hoping from the beginning that Harry was Thawne in disguise. I don’t think so, because Cecile would’ve read his mind…but we can see now that Harry is going dark. Another Wells going bad right before our very eyes.
Do you buy your comics on Amazon or Comixology? If you do, you can get cash back for your purchases. Seriously! Sign up HERE!
I’m sorry, but how does this episode not prove that Cisco is the undisputed Most Valuable Player of Team Flash? He’s the only truly funny one, he constantly saves the day, he’s got a whole life outside of Team Flash if he wants it, he creates all the tech, and his storyline works even if separated from the A Plot. Lard a’mercy. Caitlin has also been proven to have this honor before, but I’ve talked at length at how she’s been minimalized and marginalized since we saw her blonde with red lipstick at H.R.’s funeral last year. Here, she’s just kind of tech medic and Cisco’s conscience. She’s so much more than that. There’s some great Killer Frost stories here that we’ll never get to see. Oh well.
And my review is all over the place because this episode? Was all over the place.
Join us next Tuesday for #FlashChat at 1 PM CST on Twitter. It’s always a good time! ===================================================================
Holds 150-175 comics.
(This post contains affiliate links. Read our disclosure policy here.)