ORIGINAL AIRDATE: 3.13.18
Iris gets Barry’s powers and outshines him in every way: learning curve, power mastery, creativity, and courage. She also relaunches her journalism career. So this episode was a real win for Iris lovers. Is there any doubt left as to who the real star of this show is?
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So, Flash Iris AKA the Violet Velocity
So this is pretty much what happened tonight. Iris living out Michael’s BAD video.
Team Flash is still struggling with ways to stop Devoe. Harry (seven Ph.Ds) has gone mega mad scientist in his suggestions. Cisco is not having it. But Harry goes full tilt anyway and comes up with his own version of Devoe’s thinking cap.
Harry believes that if he can match the accident that gave Devoe his powers, they can outthink him, and beat him at his own game. And Cisco is again, the only one that’s not having it.
Bonus laughs for Harry’s high voice mockery of Francesca.
Know what’s going to happen?
At the worst possible time, in some future episode, all of the dark matter that’s been accumulating in Harry’s brain is going to top out, and he’s going to go crazy. Or evil. Or both.
And for some reason, this storyline has not convinced me that it’s Devoe’s smarts that keep beating them. It’s rather the fact that Team Flash keeps being written as rather dumb. Just step back and think about that.
I’m just gonna say it.
Read some good Flash stories right here:
You’re Not a Real Hero
So the crux of the episode is set up with the exchange between Iris and Ralph. He basically says that she’s safe behind her console of control. Ralph says that the actual heroes are out in the field, risking their lives. So that means by episode’s end, everyone will be praising Iris as the most inspirational hero they know.
The funniest thing about this? They’ve not protected any of the metas except Ralph. But that’s only because Devoe is saving him for last. But Iris is still the leader of the team, and after today, she will prove that she’s the best meta, the best leader, she’s just the greatest!
Yeah Barry can’t have his job back yet because reasons.
Also Joe looking at babies makes me feel more like our mystery girl is Joe and Cecile’s daughter from the future or an alternate timeline. Maybe Cecile manifesting her powers during the pregnancy gave their daughter powers.
I must say, I miss the camaraderie of last week. It was more refreshing than I thought seeing everyone on the show. Because this episode is all about one person.
So Diet Constantine shows up and he’s Johnny Storm in an english suit. Until he gets touched by Melting Point. Who robs powers from the rich and gives them to the poor. So he’s more like meta Robin Hood. I honestly thought that Melting Point’s powers were persuasion at first. But in any event, Flame Boy is quickly tackled and shackled.
Powers, powers, who’s got Powers?
Joe and Cisco are interrogating the former Fire Hands, and Cisco’s rubbing it in. On everything. Accent, powerlessness, etc. So Caitlin gets to science again while trying to deduce why the Human Scorch lost his powers. I must say, the dynamic this week is way less fun. It’s just kind of…flat.
They find Matthew Kim. They decide to ask him questions. But Iris replaces Barry in the field. Because of course she does.
Malph and Wells are together, and Harry tests his Smart Cap. He starts predicting events, and WAITAMINNIT. How are we measuring smarts, with increased probability calculations? Is that the basis of Devoe’s powers, being able to calculate every possible path and come up with the most likely scenario? I seem to remember that being a part of an early conversation with Devoe and Marlize. (I also remember that Devoe cheated by spying on Team Flash, so maybe he’s not so smart as much as sneaky.) But if that’s indeed the case, Team Flash could’ve beaten him a long time ago. Know how?
With a magic user.
When we met the JSA on Legends of Tomorrow, was Dr. Fate with them? I know we haven’t met Zatanna yet in the Arrowverse. But the thing is….if all of his “smarts” are just probability calculations, then the clearest and easiest way to beat him would be to become completely unpredictable. That’s why I can’t ever follow the logic of how Team Flash thinks, because they always ignore the most obvious solutions.
One of the best chances they had was with the events of this episode…leave Iris a speedster a little bit longer. Have both Iris and Cecile confront Marlize, and they could get all the information they needed. The Devoes wouldn’t see it coming. But whatever, throw logic away when you watch the Dumbest Geniuses Alive.
We all know you’re Fearless
Don’t let Ralph get in your head. Blah blah blah, Team West faces EMT Kim. He grabs Iris. Barry shows up from Joe’s Troubalert signal. And low and behold, Kim switches Barry’s speed to Iris. And guess what?
Just as I predicted, she adjusts instantly.
Barry was in a coma, Barry had to train, Barry had problems, Barry had friction, Barry pulled muscles, Barry lost focus, Barry had to grow into being the Flash.
So she’s zipping around leaving purple lightning in her awake instantly, enjoying all the perks of speed with none of the problems. Because she’s Iris. She’s the point of the show, how can that be argued any more? Arrow made this same mistake with Felicity. But whatever. They even play some of the 16th note theme music for Iris. Imagine that. “Everything that was a part of you…it’s all a part of Iris now.” No surprise that Caitlin couldn’t reverse it tho, because if she could she would’ve used that tech to get rid of Frost a long time ago.
Right Church, Wrong Pew
I want you to notice something. Everything that we’ve wanted to see from Barry for a while now? They show in this episode with Iris. I’ve seen this before on Smallville. So we get a sense of how fast she’s running, Barry’s somehow impressed with it (IT’S HIS SPEED FOR PETE’S SAKE), she has instant healing when Barry’s took time, and she has no side effects. Barry just sits down and whines about his losses.
So, we’ve got a fire. And Iris just got her powers, but she’s ready. Right.
And then you know what she does?
She takes Caitlin’s clothes off, and switches them out for her own.
If I wasn’t already done, which I was, this ended it once and for all. Is it just me, or was that massively disrespectful? Would you like to be undressed and redressed at super speed? I didn’t find that funny at all. But this show is all about Iris. And that little mask of Jesse’s could not possibly mask her true identity to anyone that knows her. But okay. Then there’s the incredible scene of her saving everyone on the 14th floor. Then putting the fire out. When’s the last time we saw Barry do something this heroic? We even got to see her purple streak up the steps. It took Barry YEARS to figure out the wind funnel arms, and Iris does it in seconds. Sure she does. But, the ceiling caves in and Cisco has to breach her out. But not before showing Barry as inept in teaching her how to phase.
I also want you to notice something else: THEY DIDN’T PUT OUT THE FIRE. Vibe just rescued Iris and then Team Flash moved on. The person with frost powers, who was willing to go and help, got shut down, because Iris needed to prove something to herself. It was about her.
Are we getting the picture yet?
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Dark Matter Splicing
Iris might be the permanent speedster. We know that’s not gonna last. Cisco caves in to Harry’s demands. Which I didn’t like. But at least Cisco had sense enough to make him remove the dark matter as stimulus.
Iris on the other hand is whipping around the training center and loving it. Of course she is. And we finally get the backstory of Iris’ career. She was out there putting herself in danger, a real Lois Lane. But she quit her job to take over Team Flash. And now she’s on a hero’s quest to prove to herself that she’s still unafraid.
The name of this show is The Flash. I did not sign up to see All About Iris.
Fireboy II has shown up, and this time, Iris gets a bona fide costume. Cisco and Caitlin are sidelined again for the sake of Iris. So Violet Velocity shows up on the crime scene and nods at her dad and HOLY COW HOW CAN YOU NOT RECOGNIZE HER? But anyway. Kim is on scene still trying to be a hero. He discovers how his powers are actually working, and it freaks him out a little bit. But Fliris is there. And guess what happens? Harry has to use his Mental Module to help them think of a way to stop the thermal cyclone. And he comes up with Iris running on the water and creating a tidal wave. Barry talks her through it, and she does it. She does something that Barry himself has never done. Something that they make a point of bringing out. So Barry says “Run, Iris, Run.” Of course he does. She saves the day, and uses all of the cool effects budget that we haven’t seen Flash use in a while. And that triumphant moment? When’s the last time Barry got one of those?
Mask on? Mask off.
Kim the Switcher asks them if they really want to switch. They do, and Flash is back. And it’s like…so what? Iris has already proven she’s the superior speedster. And for once Barry doesn’t reveal his identity to his new friend. Shock and awe.
Kim joins the fight and the Team, just like that. Alrighty then. And Barry is asking Iris on how to create a tidal wave. Iris has mastered that speed after less than two days, and is teaching Barry. *sigh* And Iris gives the pep talk to Ralph this week.
That cements her as the chief scientist, speedster, boss, and pep talker, in or out of the costume. If there’s any more jobs Iris hasn’t shown dominance at by next week, wake me up and let me know.
Aaaaand, at last, she’s a blogger again. She came full circle in one episode. She’s the best. She’s found her purpose. Sure she has. So I guess they got tired of hearing us rail about her missing journalism career, so they gave it back to her. Cue sad CW piano music.
Do you think Caitlin considered having Kim take away her frost powers?
Harry’s got the names of the last two bus metas. And next week, one of them, Helium Girl, is going to humiliate Flash. Of course she is.
What was the biggest glaring issue in this episode? That would be the Speed Force. That Force that’s, y’know, SUPER SENSITIVE to everything Barry does…the connection switches to Iris and the Speed Force says? Nothing. Not a single thing.
I don’t even know what else to say. I have never not wanted to watch or review an episode more than this one. Oh well. I will now proceed to erase this episode from my DVR and my mind. Also, I’ll be glad when Devoe’s story is over. It’s just as awful as Savitar’s, just in a different way.
Join us next Tuesday for #FlashChat at 1 PM CST on Twitter. It’s really been heating up, lots of fun with so many more people joining in! Then there’s a break from this show for a month.
That used to make me sad. Now I’m so happy I don’t have to deal with this travesty for the next thirty days. Bring back The Gifted.