ORIGINAL AIRDATE: 1.23.18
BIFF! BAM! The daring deadly duo resurfaces, and it’s up to Team Flash to put an end to their terrible tricks!
The dastardly Trickster Jr. is back, and Oedipus Mommus le Prank is gonna help him super-acid wash those costumed clowns! Can they survive? Will our heroes escape? Can Ralph’s costume be any more German underground DJ? Can they make Killer Frost any more of a joke? Can “We’re the Flash but you’re in jail, Bubba” make their love work? TUNE IN FOR THE ANSWERS!
Eyes without a Face
That wascally Barry is in jail, nervous that he can’t help. After all, what’s a hero to do when he can’t hero? Because oh yeah he had a defense lawyer that couldn’t get a cow acquitted of mooing and all of a sudden he’s so honorable he won’t run. Even tho, pipeline, illegal search and seizure, breaking and entering, aiding and abetting and harboring fugitives, attempted murder, illegal spying and non-sanctioned experiments is Team Flash’s middle name. ZOUNDS! It looks like a dilemma! Fortunately our Scarlet Convict fixes the jailbreak without anybody seeing a lightning trail or feeling the WHOOSH from his entrance and exit. Even tho every other time he uses his speed in close quarters there’s a WHOOSH from the entrance and exit. But who cares about continuity? HAHAHHAHAHAH #HenryAllenwasHere #SoWasBarry
GADZOOKS! A totally manny-peddy loving suicide/not really bomber is threatening to blow stuff up. But hey! He wants a car! Eco-friendly…like a Prius! (Clint Eastwood just blew out an eyeball.) And…and a private plane! And….and a salad because he was got to watch that waistline. What’s a poor fella to do when he’s getting love handles?
Ooops. Seems like our dastardly destructo dudebro forgot that if he blows his hostages up, he gets blown up too. Oh well, Stretchy Man to the rescue! He stuffs that bomb up his abdomen and the crisis is averted. Because drinking milk and eating your vegetables is good for you boys n’ girls. Or, polygamized cells. Aw shucks, ya little tykes, let’s all say hooray for the Indestructible Rubber Abs!
Trickster Jr. AKA Son of Trickster AKA Junior Tricks AKA Pudding Pop is giving our intrepid hero the razzmatazz. But, TROUBLE! *wee-OO wee-OO* The pudding has been poisoned! Duhn duhn DUHN! Off to the infirmary for Poutine Bean Breath. Berry almost gets in a fight ’cause you don’t step on a brother’s white suede shoes. But Early saves him. This time. Because *cue angelic aaaaahs* Mrs. We’re-the-Flash-but-I’m-not-doing-the-time is there to see him. They discuss all things Team Flash all out in the open but YOU’LL NEVER TAKE HER ALIVE, COPPAHS!
Nurse Diet Harley turns out to be….MOMMA TRICKSTER! BACK FROM THE 90’s! Well of all the guest characters we wanted to see on this show, she was certainly at the top of my list, I’ll tell ya that kiddies.
Papa Joe and Prison Berry bond without touching, and it’s a bugger. Golly gee whiz, how will our hero make it through?
Zoe Clark AKA James Jesse’s squeeze AKA Bonnie to Jesse’s Clyde AKA Sidekick Sidechick is behind the daring prison pudding puke break. ZOUNDS! Do these ne’er do wells have no limit to their evil??? Gadzooka bubble gum! We solved the mystery of its disappearance. Our work here is done.
Oh wait Cisco has to breach himself. And Ralph and Caitlin are on a not-date while Mrs. Mess-Allen tries to find the evilly colorful villainy lair. And Jesse James is a deadbeat dad. Man, he’s probably on a remote island drink blue breast milk and tossing his equipment over his shoulder. Maybe he thought it was time for his tricks to end.
Prankla Fran and Ollie determine that someone in the family still has a funny bone. And they set their sights on The Human Rubber Band.
Trouble in Arkham
Mean White Shoe Black Dude comes after Berry Crunch yet again. Can’t he lift weights in peace? He’s suddenly surrounded by thuggy thuggersons! Oh NOES! Will he have to reveal his super secrety secreto secretion secretious *ssssh* identity? NOPE. Because Stone Cold Big Sir steps in and WW SMASHES our Blue Berry free. *whew* We were worried there for a minute, lil’ campers!
Meth Addict Fashion Disaster Tricky Pops calls for Stretchy Man. Vibe the Bribe super-bamfs him to the crime scene. Things are going just swell until…..HORRORS! Tricky Blue has acid that can actually burn Human Yoga Pants Man! WILL HE SURVIVE THIS???
Fortunately Vibey Vibranium shows back up (because why did he leave?) and says “Not today Satan!” and rescues Snap Back Boo Boo Pants. Yet another semi-win for Team Fla…well they turned tail and ran but at least nobody died because after they left I’m sure Glam Trix didn’t play any more What Does This Do? with citizens of Central City because reasons.
Check your Ph Level
Egads. Stretch Nosestrong has discovered his Kryptonite. He actually can be hurt by acid that’s more acidy than the blood of Xenomorphs. Better call Ripley. Because Ralph Disney’s polygamized cells can’t of a surety heal him of this painful woundy wound. Fortunately Dr. Snow the Lovely is there when Virus SLAPS HIS INJURED LEG because she hasn’t used her Useless Powers in almost five minutes.
Meanwhile back at the prison, Boo Berry is having a heart to heart with his unexpected savior. Turns out that gee whillikers, he knew Poppa Allen. That’s just swell.
At the tilted neon Trickster lair, Momma loves her Boo Boo. Like in a unbelievably creepy way because we thought she was going to kiss him and DASTARDLY GIGGLES. So the Joker….I mean Jr. Rupaul Trixie plays Choose Your Misfortune with hostages. And Lil’ Beebo pays the price with an acid bath that looks so gross it’s like the Star Trek:TNG aliens that took over in Conspiracy except THE CHAIR DOESN’T MELT AT ALL but who needs physics? Catch those cowardly criminals, Team Flash!!! Go Team Flash! Go Team Fla-
Oh yeah Ralph’s a coward and he quits because he’s afraid because last time he got a boo boo.
The Count of Monte Flashco
The Plastic Wuss goes to see Edmond Flashtes in prison. Because prison break! But alas, cameras in Iron Man Heights prevents any use of powers in public. EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT RALPH JUST STRETCHED HIS WAY IN RIGHT THROUGH THE FRONT OF BERRY BERRY’S CELL. So the Flush gives a hero pep talk and Elastic Plastic Pimpernel decides to head back into the fray.
So Team Flash minus Weed Richards decides to go after Incest Trix. They need Filler Frost, and she used to be such a feared force of nature that lovely Dr. Snow would rather die than be her. Now Harry and Francesca just yell at her to activate her. This time it’s the name of a childhood bully: LEXI LAROCHE! and Silly Frost just ices right up.
Seems like all that ice has taken away Dr. Snow’s entire personality but no one’s counting because no one here can count. Off to face the villainous villains! Oh and don’t forget to change your clothes there, Sillier Frost. Also, do you have to maintain your anger or your fear to maintain your frosty pop state? Maybe these questions will be answered in a future episode!
Vibe and Thriller Frost are so easily captured these days until Pranky and Trickton just slap some power dampening cuffs on them. And oh look they are neutralized! ZOINKS! I wonder if we gave Vibe a Scooby snack if he could break those chains? Maybe some spinach?
It’s a shame that The Crash doesn’t have like a, junior partner or something. Y’know, like a…Kid Flash or something that could help while he’s incarcerated.
Berry’s turn to rescue Big Sir. And he uses his supety speed just like Quicksilver. Because gee whillikers he’s fast like that now. Guess those wascally cameras all of a sudden aren’t a problem. Neither was Big Sir sitting right there watching all of that speed action.
Pink acid slime! It must be defeated by Dr. Harryton Wells. Because Killer Vibe are still busy being captured inside the Las Vegas lair. BUT HOLY SPROINGY NODES! It’s a newly costumed Silly Putty Pants man to the rescue. And he’s ready to face danger because that’s what heroes do. Gosh. I saluted the flag and ate some apple pie after his speech. He’s a true All-American. BUY BONDS!
He was willing to make the sacrifice and screamed like a little Wizzy Wug but HURRAH! Harry the Wells somehow de-acidized the slime just in time. He’s just the peachy keenest.
The Family that Slays Together
Momma Trick and her son Treat keep flirting on the way to Officer Joe’s police car. They’re already plotting their daring escape kiddies! With giggles. Because that’s what mothers and sons do. Except not except for when [CENSORED]. My my this sure is some intense material. THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN! Is this approved by the Comics Code? I’m going to write my Congressman tomorrow because we must protect our youth from such influences! Those funny books I tell ya, they’re always a menace.
Nose-for-News gets a name. He is now, officially….Extended Man!
Wait, Elongated. Elevator. Elgin. Effigy? Something in there is correct. I think it’s time for milk and cookies for all! Things ended just swell. Mr. & Mrs. We’re-the-Flash even ignore those pesky ever-present cameras again and OH YEAH THE PEOPLE RIGHT NEXT TO THEM as BERRY VIBRATES THROUGH THE WINDOW, but who would see that?
Speaking of family, Miss Quirky Quirk shows up again. She pays for the The Brokest Heroes Alive coffee bill. Because somehow they run a multi-million dollar lab but don’t have coffee money. Then when Stretchy Vibe shuffles off, she is soon writing the very same symbols that Berry did when he came out of the Weed Force. Pretty much sealing the fact that she is either Barry’s daughter Dawn Allen, come back from the future to ensure her own birth, or Barry’s granddaughter Jenni Ognats, come back from the future to ensure her own birth. Except every time we see her, she’s fangirling over every member of Team Flash, including her father. Oh well. Next thing you know those crazy kids will be thinking that brothers and sisters could get married or something.
Next week will be more of the same as our intrepid heroes face Dr. Shrinker! I for one cannot wait to watch the gang spring into action against that dastardly devil.
We also have this to look forward to this season:
Join us next Tuesday for #FlashChat at 1 PM CST on Twitter. We’ll be talking about this episode of The Crash and trying not to throw up. Also read about Dawn and Jenni below.
And pray for a swift end.