Movie Review: “Prometheus”

Synopsis

This movie didn’t have its own identity.

That is what kills it. And then about halfway through it goes full frontal stupid. That made me move it into GODAWFUL status.Prometheus review, Alien, Aliens, Ridley Scott, DT2ComicsChat, David Taylor II, Michael Fassbender

The Good

1) The Visuals: It is visually brilliant. Whether CGI, matte painting, or shot on location, Ridley Scott imbues this film with his trademark glorious imagery. The background scenes. The planet. The tech on the Earth ship. The tech on the alien ship. It’s all a joy to behold.

2) Casting: There are some really good actors here: Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Idris Elba, Guy Pearce. They did the best they could with the material, and you buy each of them in those roles. Their strong acting skills elevated what still turned out to be poorly developed characters.

3) The Score: Not the whole score, but parts of it were quite well done. Not nearly as good as Jerry Goldsmith’s score on the original Alien by a long shot, but still pleasant at times.

That’s about it for what was good in this film.Prometheus review, Alien, Aliens, Ridley Scott, DT2ComicsChat, David Taylor II, Michael Fassbender

The Meh

1) Plot: THIS MOVIE WASN’T ABOUT ANYTHING.

Let me state unequivocally, that I never have been, nor am I now, a fan of prequels. This is for two main reasons:

  • First & foremost, the tech & special FX. The look of the original or first film can’t help but look dated when you make a film in present time about an earlier time.
  • Secondly, the prequels are pretty much locked into what can and cannot happen, and who can & cannot survive. Lastly, prequels can’t ever be fully judged solely on their own merits as a film.

This is why I knew, I KNEW, from the moment they announced this film, that it was going to be disappointing. It was set it up to fail. There’s absolutely no way it can not be disappointing. Because when you build a movie around the world established in Alien, all the audience is gonna care about is, when are the aliens gonna show up? And they never really do, not as we know them. More on that later.Prometheus review, Alien, Aliens, Ridley Scott, DT2ComicsChat, David Taylor II, Michael Fassbender

2) Structure Fails:

This movie’s modern look is asynchronous with the look of the 1979 film. It technically happens earlier(remember the big computer room with Mother in it, the way computers looked in the 70’s).

Everything that happens in the movie is foreplay that we really don’t care about. Again, what we want to see and understand is the aliens.

Ridley Scott just straight rips from the first two movies, which is exactly what I knew was going to happen. From the opening credits in having the title “Prometheus” fade in the same way Alien‘s title does, to copying lines verbatim(“We are leaving!”). The land rovers, the crew, on and on, it was just cobbled together previously digested bits from the first two movies. But the insult to injury is, Ridley Scott stating that “it’s not a direct prequel to Alien” WHEN HE USES VERBATIM LINES FROM ALIEN AND ALIENS.Prometheus review, Alien, Aliens, Ridley Scott, DT2ComicsChat, David Taylor II, Michael Fassbender

The Ugly

1) No real new information. It somewhat showed us different parts of the alien lifecycle, but nothing groundbreaking.

2) The entire crew was redshirts. How can you care about a crew of redshirts? They didn’t even care in the end.

3) Meandering. Instead of the film picking a focal point and staying with it…it dabbled into many different themes. Again, its net result was that it wasn’t about anything. It strung a bunch of scenes together. It toyed with many themes along the way: Faith, faith vs. science, creationism, the existential nature of life, human curiosity, immortality, space exploration, and the origin of the alien species. But in the end, it didn’t remotely PICK one.

There was so much cool tech that I wanted to see explored and explained. But the big kahookie, in what was thee largest diss to the audience of the entire film! …Was that what should have been the premise of this movie was delivered via throw away lines!!!!!

This movie tells us about the Space Jockey race. Their origins have been an oft debated mystery for over 30 years now. Turns out they are actually a humanoid race and the progenitors of humanity. Their elephant-like look has been body armor all this time. That little reveal alone was a huge mistake. It completely destroys the Space Jockey and its coolness shrouded in mystery, just like I knew it would. I hate prequels, did I mention that I hate prequels? They seemingly spawned humans, because the DNA is an exact match.

Then this race pulled an Old Testament Flood move and decided to scrap it all, because….well, we because reasons. And again, just almost casually, the captain declares that this was actually a military base. Yes kids, and its stuck out in the middle of nowhere on purpose. It helps them to manufacture what would eventually become the aliens that we know.

It is revealed that the aliens, as has long been speculated, were organic weapons of mass destruction. The Engineers were on their way to Earth to unleash them, to wipe humanity out. And somehow, like all good sci fi horror movies, their plans went awry. The organic adaptable life forms that they created turned on them, and made them all either commit suicide or get facehugged.

But we’re left to infer all of that. We see tentacled creatures, with acid for blood for sure. They have super gripping strength as well. Somehow we’re to understand that eventually the “vases” that were dripping X-Files black oil in the main navigation chamber would morph into eggs. UM YEAH OKAY. Through each life cycle of rebirth, the alien itself keeps changing. And it’s because of the Space Jockey’s tech that it ends up looking the way that it does.

Did you catch all that? They created an organic substance that was adaptable. It force feed itself through the mouth into a host. Later it bursts forth from that host having combined its DNA with it. That was definitely established in the films, but again, that means, it’s not new information. And, excuse me, but exactly how long was the Engineer/Space Jockey from the original Alien movie on LV-426? He had indeed become fossilized. So since Prometheus takes place on LV-223, we know that facehuggers and xenomorphs were actually already running loose long before these events.Prometheus review, Alien, Aliens, Ridley Scott, DT2ComicsChat, David Taylor II, Michael Fassbender

4) Left hanging. What we wanted to see was the details.

  • How did they create this lifeform?
  • How did they imbue it with acid for blood?
  • How did they make it take on the characteristics of its host?
  • How did it shrink down to facehugger size?
  • When did it turn on them?
  • How come they didn’t have any failsafes against such a possibility?
  • Why did they change their minds about humanity?
  • What was the Engineer home planet like?

This is what this movie should have been about. The details of why the supposed creators of man came to hate us so much. And why that hatred led them to devise a biological weapon to wipe us out in the most horrific way possible. The job of a sequel or a prequel is to give us the stuff we know, and then present to us new stuff that we didn’t know. That’s why Aliens is so popular, because it does exactly that, and does it well.

But instead, in Prometheus we’re left with a hodge podge of plot threads, and a bunch of scenes that serve little to no purpose. What was the purpose of showing Charlie reanimated? Or of Elizabeth giving herself a freaking C-Section for the dolphin octosquid facehugger prototype? This movie really had potential, and ended up being worthy of SyFy channel. I kid you not.Prometheus review, Alien, Aliens, Ridley Scott, DT2ComicsChat, David Taylor II, Michael Fassbender

5) Characters: Again, Ridley Scott, for a veteran filmmaker, makes a huge rookie mistake. Especially surprising given the fact that both he and James Cameron ESTABLISHED THE TEMPLATE FOR THESE KINDS OF MOVIES.

We didn’t spend enough time with these characters to care about them, nor did they have distinct personalities. We knew who Parker, Lambert, and Dallas were. We knew(and loved) Vasquez, Hudson, Hicks, Burke, and of course Ripley. Who the GROK were these people? Even the android David, played well by Fassbender, didn’t show us anything we haven’t already seen dozens of times before. What a waste of Idris Elba as the disaffected captain. Charlize played the cold-hearted corporate tool well, but so what? Why should we care? I love Guy Pearce, and I love his work, but he’s wasted here. We really don’t care about this tottering old man’s quest for more years. And who didn’t see the comPLETEly predictable “twist” of Charlize being his daughter? Come ON man, Vader & Luke put an end to that thread ever having any impact ever again.

I hated, and I mean absolutely HATED Elizabeth Shaw. I hate extreme science types in sci fi horror films. They never do anything but violate any and all moral and ethical codes. Those violations end up getting everybody killed, but somehow they survive. Or at least get killed last. Please go away. And there it is…we loved and rooted for Ripley, and Dr. Shaw in this movie absolutely reaped exactly what she sowed. She deserved every moment of pain.

And the absolute Three Stoogeish level of unprofessionalism from these “scientists” just made me disconnect. Almost every single thing that they did was marinated in IDIOT juice. From the way they approached the life forms, to taking off their helmets, to making emotional as opposed to protocol based decisions. Ugh. JUST UGH.

David’s seeming duplicitousness is never really explored. What they did with Bishop in Aliens was better. You were never sure until the end if he was on Ripley’s side or not. David clearly did have a soul, which makes him different than Ash. David was practiced at playing dumb to appease the humans. That really could’ve gone somewhere….but it didn’t.Prometheus review, Alien, Aliens, Ridley Scott, DT2ComicsChat, David Taylor II, Michael Fassbender

6) The Ending:  I just can’t. I can’t even. Right about when Elizabeth discovers she’s pregnant, this movie goes to Hell in a handbasket. I was with them up until that point, and then I just wanted to spit at the screen. I can’t even. After Dumb & Dumber die, and Charlie becomes an acne zombie, nothing makes any sense. Elizabeth shouldn’t have been able to do all that she did after that emergency C-section. She just shouldn’t have.

I loved every time the Space Jockey map was on the screen; those effects were just beyond beautiful. But again, all of that just to show that they were on their way to Earth to infect us. It never goes anywhere. I swear I thought that Dr. Shaw was going to be the one in the chair in the Space Jockey armor. But somehow, this woman who should be weakened from blood loss and infection manages to get to yet another Space Jockey ship(stealing Ripley’s lines as she goes). And then….we have no idea what happens to her. The thing that we’ve always wanted to see, the original home planet, is never shown. According to her last words, she never even found it. Her and Robot David Head. Leaving us wondering if David ever reattached to his body and turned on her, as he seemed to want to do.Prometheus review, Alien, Aliens, Ridley Scott, DT2ComicsChat, David Taylor II, Michael Fassbender

The Space Jockey that they revived and tried to talk to ends up beheading Fassbutt and knocking over 175 year old Weyland. Then clearly SPRINTING to the other ship to attack Shaw. She opens up the room where her baby alien is, who has now grown to be…super alien squid! See why I can’t even? So he gets giant facehugged, and then a new creature bursts out of him that’s kind of pre-alien, and….argh.

As I mentioned before, Idris and skeleton crew ram the ship. Which actually shouldn’t have been able to be completely crippled by Prometheus ramming it, Its armor would’ve been stronger than that. It crushes Charlize, but with her magic main character powers, Shaw survives again! Ugh. Please make it stop.

Conclusions

This movie doesn’t answer any of the questions that we wanted answered. What this movie should have been, is, condensed down to about 20 minutes, and retooled into the first act of an incredible film. A film where the Space Jockeys are actually elephant like and not necessarily our progenitors(because they basically recycled the plot of Star Trek V with that one).Prometheus review, Alien, Aliens, Ridley Scott, DT2ComicsChat, David Taylor II, Michael Fassbender

We could’ve seen how they came up with this adaptable organic life form, watching their scientists give it its acid blood. And then be horrified witnesses to whatever event made them turn on us. We could watch it all go bad as the pre-alien ooze gets loose. THEN it could’ve shown us a bunch of new things we hadn’t seen before. Maybe have them make it to Earth, definitely have one of us survive to take the fight back to their own home planet. Or, as others have suggested, and I agree with this direction as well, have Prometheus have nothing to do with the Alien franchise at all.

Oh well. Maybe the next film will show Dr. Shaw actually arriving on Space Jockey world. But I still won’t care.Prometheus review, Alien, Aliens, Ridley Scott, DT2ComicsChat, David Taylor II, Michael Fassbender

14 thoughts on “Movie Review: “Prometheus”

  • June 10, 2012 at 1:58 am
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    Just getting started reading through, but first comment, I think it would’ve been better to not have openly associated this film with the Alien franchise (even through denials) and surprised the audience with those things. It’s unfortunate that it was because it set up a lot of expectation for people, which both helped and hindered the film. (For me, I thoroughly got that they were telling a story that was within the same universe as Alien but tangentially related. I was ready to invest in their individual story but there were pieces of the movie — not just the obvious visual connections — where it felt like Scott was recycling stuff from the first Alien in tone, theme, timing, and texture that added a whole extra level of disappointment to the whole thing for me.)

    Back to reading…

    Reply
  • June 10, 2012 at 2:13 am
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    Yep.

    (Oh, and I loved reading in Drew’s review at HitFix that you could excise the entire character of Meredith Vickers from the film and it wouldn’t change anything about the story, which makes her the very definition of expendable. She’s thoroughly wasted in this film. The only thing we’d lose is that fun little scene between Theron and Elba when Janek convinces Vickers to sleep with him. And yet, that really amounts to nothing as well.)

    Reply
    • June 10, 2012 at 2:15 am
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      All true as well. I hadn’t even thought of that, but it’s completely on point.

      Reply
  • June 10, 2012 at 9:02 am
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    Agreed x1000.

    One of the dumbest sci-fi flicks in ages. Definitely the worst since the 90s. How some can hold a straight face and actually praise this turd is an indictment on society and a vote for IQ -contingent cleansing.

    1pt for International trailer. 1pt for Fessbender. 1pt for shiny visuals.

    3/10

    Reply
  • June 10, 2012 at 11:53 am
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    I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one who had a hard time not physically harming the screen once the pregnancy plot kicked in. I couldn’t concentrate on anything else for the rest of the movie because my inner monologue kept saying “Why did David do that?” and it’s NEVER FRAKKIN’ EXPLAINED. Never. It was just a thing that happened because it was gross.

    Then the movie spiraled into one big WHY IS ANY OF THIS HAPPENING fest. When I explain my thoughts to my sister about the movie, she replied with a “well, maybe they’ll explain it in a sequel.” ….That’s when my stomach dropped… Because she’s probably right. That’s what films are these days, aren’t they? Just franchises waiting to launch. If this is going to be the strategy for films of the future, we’re screwed.

    I realize that ALIEN is already a franchise, but they’re trying the reboot angle, and that makes PROMETHEUS its own world base. They cannot just assume they’re going to have more films to create their mythology. That’s not fair, it borders on artistically unethical.

    It’s one thing to walk out of a film with “discussion questions”. Meaning, metaphors, ponderings…

    It’s another to walk out of a film with basic LOGIC questions.

    Reply
    • June 10, 2012 at 12:16 pm
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      It’s never explained, David’s motives, and her resulting Buffy acrobatics after having her freaking womb ripped open just took me out of it altogether.

      And yes indeedy, everything about the way that they approached this was made of stupid. The amount of money, the “quest for immortality” by Weyland, the absence of any safety or scientific protocols, on and on, just. I couldn’t even.

      Reply
      • June 10, 2012 at 4:56 pm
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        How about the fact that there was literally no reason for Guy Pearce to be cast in that role? I like him. He’s great. But don’t cast a young guy and put him in old-guy makeup if he is never going to be de-aged or something. Just…cast an old guy.

        Reply
  • June 20, 2012 at 12:58 pm
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    Yes, yes, yes to everything you said! Most of the things you brought up my bf and I discussed in detail at dinner after the movie (probably annoyed the hell out of anyone near us). For me the only scene in the movie I actually liked is the first scene with David. Michael Fassbender did an amazing job in that scene but like you said they went nowhere with it. I wish I could unsee that movie as it raised WAY too many questions.

    Reply
    • June 20, 2012 at 1:09 pm
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      And, all anyone has said is, “wait for the sequel.” ………..Really? *facepalm*

      Reply
  • June 21, 2013 at 8:40 am
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    I’m really loving the theme/design of your blog. Do you ever run into any web browser compatibility issues? A handful of my blog audience have complained about my site not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Firefox. Do you have any recommendations to help fix this problem?

    Reply

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