Movie Review: “Green Lantern”

FAIL. Fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail.

Casting

Best job was Mark Strong as Sinestro. Looked and acted the part well. And THAT’S IT.
Every other actor in this movie was either miscast or underutilized, or both. The main culprit for underutilization being Angela Bassett. What an incredible actress, and what a powerful thread that could’ve been woven using Amanda Waller’s character. Instead, she’s written as someone that could’ve been ANYONE, i.e., generic government covert function agent. And don’t even get me started on the stupid separate DC universes idea, when Amanda Waller could easily and quite organically be the Nick Fury character of DC. [They have since fixed this with Suicide Squad.]Green Lantern Review Ryan Reynolds DT2ComicsChat, David Taylor II

Spleen Lantern

I’ve said it so many times that I’m tired of saying it. Ryan Reynolds is not Hal Jordan. At best, he’s Wally West for DC. He is dead on for Deadpool. Once you start by miscasting your lead, it can only go downhill from there. Blake Lively was just an obvious stunt casting move. They wanted the Gossip Girl crowd to watch this insipid mess, because that’s HollywoodThink.

“Put a popular actress in the role, people will watch!”

….not,

“Let’s make the movie good!”

Plus, she was completely unconvincing as Carol, because pretty much from line one. Blake was trying too hard. And they had ZERO onscreen chemistry. Like…ZERO. Chris Reeve & Margot Kidder were actually fighting between takes on Superman:The Movie. When the cameras rolled however, they convinced you that they were the lovestruck first couple of comics. Nothing doing with these two. Plus Ryan Reynolds belongs in the Mark Ruffalo roles. He’s that guy. He’s not Hal. The reason I’m not mentioning Peter Saarsgard is because even though I really like him as an actor, I could give less than two potato chips about Hector Hammond.

Green Lantern Review Ryan Reynolds DT2ComicsChat, David Taylor II
“Something’s giving me a headache. Oh yeah it’s this wretched movie.”

Story

Again, whatever. Their attempt at bringing the non comics audience up to speed is just heavy handed. It accomplishes nothing, because it doesn’t make us care. The supposed central conflict of the movie doesn’t make any sense from scene one. Abin Sur imprisoning Parallax on an outer rim planet with no other guards or failsafes is careless. He never even considers the idea that his green energy could fail if he died. There are also no posted warning beacons. Abin KNEW that Parallax draws energy from the fear of others, and the greatest Green Lantern wouldn’t make all those mistakes. *sigh.*

Green Lantern Review Ryan Reynolds DT2ComicsChat, David Taylor II
“I’ll show YOU who needs some Listerine.”

Abin Sur. I want to see a whole movie series just about him. Also, the idea is ultimately that the most feared being in the galaxy is beaten by the rookie human in his first week as a Lantern. Um…okay. This was a being that the Guardians themselves feared. Sinestro had to assemble an elite strike force to beat him, yet Hal does so right away? No. Also, Hal accepts everything way too quickly and way too easily. His GL experiences come hard and fast, but they are just so bizarre. Hal shows absolutely NO cognitive dissonance, no incredulousness, no deeper disbelief, no nothing. He just kind of rolls with it…”Hey look I’m surroundedby alien thingies all with a powerful green magic rings and cool I’ve got one and we’re all suddenly space cops.”

And, um, yo Kilowogg….WHAT TRAINING? Luke spent more time with Yoda then Hal did with Kilo on Oa. *facepalm*

Most everything else that happens in between is really moot, because we don’t actually care about any of it. The rest of the characters don’t get enough development or screen time for us to care, except for Sinestro. He should’ve been the one to train Hal and spend more time with him, to create the eventual fallout that is to come. Writers today don’t understand that movies can work with only one main villain. They also don’t understand that conflict is better when there is some emotional tension between the antagonist and protagonist.

There is literally no connection between Parallax and Hal, which is counter to what happens in the comics, but whatever.  A comic movie has to be able to stand on its own for people that don’t read the comics, and this one doesn’t. And let me just throw in, yet again, a comment about one of my continual pet peeves about these kinds of movies.

DOES. THE. HERO. HAVE. TO. REVEAL. HIS. SECRET. IDENTITY. IN. EVERY. STINKING. MOVIE?Green Lantern Review Ryan Reynolds DT2ComicsChat, David Taylor II

I’ve heard various comments, that Green Lantern is supposed to be funny, goofy, whatever. Lots of comments on the lameness of both his powers & his constructs. My response is still the same: you either have to go full camp, or take it really seriously. Make sure either way that it’s peppered with small streams of charm and humor. There’s actually a wicked amount of things that could be done with a ring that physically realizes imagination, but apparently the writers didn’t have any.

CGI

Oa looks like a world created by George Lucas for The Phantom Menace. Once things become hyper CGI’d, they become so surreal until looking at them takes you out of the scene. It feels more like a video game than a movie. The Guardians looked good, BUT, I wish they’d been played by actors instead of total CGI.

I actually didn’t have a problem with Hal’s costume, and more could’ve been done with it, but just like Carol pointed out….LAWD, THAT MASK. I’ve been laughing at it since I first saw it, because it would fool NO ONE. It’s Superman-hiding-behind-glasses-level ridiculous. Also, note to Hal Jordan…AT LEAST CLARK CHANGES HIS HAIR. Superman has a trademark spit curl, and Clark NEVER wears a spit curl. But Hal is foofy foofy all de time! BwahahAHAHAHH!!!Green Lantern Review Ryan Reynolds DT2ComicsChat, David Taylor II

Conclusion

LAME.

That’s pretty much it. The one really cool scene was of course when Sinestro grabs the yellow ring and transforms. But even that was a dilution, because it happens much too soon, and with poor context. Sinestro in the comics became hated and feared on his homeworld of Qward, and ended up being rejected by the Guardians. Once deemed unworthy to be a Green Lantern, he developed an all consuming jealousy of Hal Jordan. Their relationship is supposed to be a play on the Cain and Abel theme, and NONE of that was present here. It just looked good to see Sinestro in his yellow costume.

There’s not one unforgettable line in the movie.

So here’s hoping the next incarnation of this incredible character is better. Shouldn’t be too hard if this tripe is the yardstick.

7 thoughts on “Movie Review: “Green Lantern”

  • June 20, 2011 at 12:58 pm
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    Great timing posting your review! I had just seen the movie this past saturday. Gotta say, as someone that knows absolutely NOTHING about Green Lantern except for that small convo we had about it last week on twitter, i STILL came out of that movie theatre feeling very ‘meh’ about it. I just simply didn’t care for it. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t gripping. the way the movie was paced, set up, and executed left something to be desired. Blake SUCKED. i didn’t like her one bit. And one thing that bothered me right away was how quickly Hal was so accepting of his “responsibilities”. I tried to forgive it, thinking maybe that was done as a result of timing, but i just couldn’t. Simply put, it is not a movie i would watch again.

    Reply
  • June 20, 2011 at 1:12 pm
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    Wow, so, you really liked this movie :p I’m glad I didn’t spend money on it after all.

    Reply
  • June 21, 2011 at 8:19 pm
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    Part of me wants to see how bad it is while the other doesn’t want to waste money on something that I know will suck.

    I decided to read the first draft of the script to see how good/ok/bad it is and just based on what I’ve read in articles/comments, see how the studio and supposedly, Geoff Johns screwed it all up. Maybe I’ll even read the Jack Black one.

    This made me laugh even though without watching it…

    http://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/06/topless_robot_presents_the_best_scenes_from_the_gr.php

    Reply
  • August 1, 2011 at 2:41 pm
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    I was really hoping for an improvement over first flight but first flight had better twists and I was much more invested in the animated characters than anyone in this movie.

    Reply
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